remembering

for it was not just today that things are all blurry.
i knew this is since yesterday or a day before yesterday.
will it still be blurry tomorrow?

i'm back

for so long did i not post anything here in my blog. the truth is that i was never away. i just had a rest and realized that i can still escape from the revolutionary emotionally motivated output trend of lifestyle. i have tried gaining back my senses to explore a wider horizon of ideas for me to ponder on in my everyday living. my absence was a period of thinking on what else can i do and most of all, what else should i best think as of today. to those who have understood the abstract behind my complicated posts last year, thank you so much. it was how screwed up i was then. i just hope that i still made even just a little sense on you.

now i'm back and it's no longer for the same cause of expressing heartaches and other emotional crises. let's see what more can i say and talk about!

thoughts

What now? This is one of the questions that always run in my mind almost everyday starting from the time that I open my eyes when I wake up in the morning until I get back to bed begin on dreaming almost the same things. I had tough days for the past months. Those days can be considered as the hardest days of my life. I was faced with situations that demanded critical analysis. Moreover, I got to choose between lots of things as to what should stay for me and what should be given up. I have to exert tremendous effort in understanding myself and eventually know who and what I really am. Weird as it may seem, but truest in the sense that it really happened. The things that were simply stories of unknown people before are the dilemmas of no other than me – my tangible body and my vulnerable mind and emotions. I have to loosen up my tight feelings just to cope up with emotional demands. It’s hard to explain what I have been through. I know that even now, I am still trying my very best to finally get over the events that happened and say that I have really moved on.

last night's fever

i was supposed to sleep early last night for i have classes this morning. it was advertised that miss earth pageant runs at 9:30 and so i got a little interested with the international roll of the said beauty competition. my interest got even more boosted when i have learned that the host of the event is one of the personalities that i really am admiring. he's none other than mtv vj utt.

it's not actually about his career as a mtv host that impressed me much. his performance is really remarkable introducing videos for mtv. apart from that, he has been an excellent host of disney buzz. i can still remember the times that i still have time watching the channel. he is really good. it was the time that i started admiring his wit as well as his extraordinary potential to host. it's so natural and absolutely interest-catching.

now, he has just hosted miss earth in the philippines. had i known it beforehand, i could have tried watching the live pageant just to see the excellent host. he has very good ad libs during the show. his english is so clear apart from the fact that he is thai and not most of the people in thailand can speak good english. i wonder if he is a polyglot. being an international channel host, he might have gone acquainted with so many people, particularly celebrities, from different races. he might have learned lots of language. that makes a total difference. that makes a total impression on me.

i wish that one day, i'll be able to meet this icon. a nice conversation with him will be enough to satisfy my craving for this celebrity. that's how weird i am. after all, what is then wrong with admiring a celebrity? one day, he might get so kind to share tips in hosting that i can adopt in my amateur career as a local host. =) he might be too far from me but i really dream of living a life following the hectic schedule of a professional television host.

for you...

baby, i still love you
i got only one you...
you know who you are!

i wish somehow you know
that i really love you so...

pictures of mine...

i hate wearing my glasses..but i should...
i'll make sure it won't take me long to use this...

very formal during school days...
got to wear a descent undershirt, then that
ID plus a neat hair...
well, i just love it still...

well it doesn't follow that since sunny days are over,
you shouldn't be wearing shades anymore...you can still do so, well, dust are still scattered everywhere..don't want them to get in mah eyes...

just closing the door before finally leaving home...hehehehe

i love taking pictures (of myself..hehehehe)...
yah, i am not that good looking but i just have this feeling that i should still be proud of this face...it's still God-given...

second day and third day watching harry potter...

definitely, i did as what i have promised. i'll be watching harry potter everyday until the theater billboard changes for the next film to be shown. the second day was great because there were just reasonable number of people inside. i still had time taking rough screen photos of some of my favorite scenes. i really like the kissing scene of harry and cho chang. it makes me feel like participating. hahaha... just kidding. i just felt so good for harry that at last he came of age to feel love. without him knowing, it's also going to hurt him. but it's going to be on the later parts and sequels that he'll realize that.

the second day is today. i watched the movie at 1 PM immediately after i took my lunch. i should not miss it really. i had a meeting at 4 so i got to make it at 1, giving me exact 3 hours for the film. there were lots of viewers in the orchestra. of course, since i hate crowd i sat at the balcony. i wondered why those people sat there considering that the fee is the same and it is more comfortable to be at the balcony. anyway, it's their choice. i focused on the falling prophecy balls today. the cinematography is really great. it's fantastic and really amazing. how i wish i could do an interview with the animators.

on the other hand, sound in the theater here in naga is really different from that in manila. how i wish i could have that dolby powered 3-d movie-watching experience. anyway, everything is still great because i had my third day date with harry, ron and hermione. tomorrow, i'll be sseing them once again - same hairstyle and same clothes...=)