thoughts

What now? This is one of the questions that always run in my mind almost everyday starting from the time that I open my eyes when I wake up in the morning until I get back to bed begin on dreaming almost the same things. I had tough days for the past months. Those days can be considered as the hardest days of my life. I was faced with situations that demanded critical analysis. Moreover, I got to choose between lots of things as to what should stay for me and what should be given up. I have to exert tremendous effort in understanding myself and eventually know who and what I really am. Weird as it may seem, but truest in the sense that it really happened. The things that were simply stories of unknown people before are the dilemmas of no other than me – my tangible body and my vulnerable mind and emotions. I have to loosen up my tight feelings just to cope up with emotional demands. It’s hard to explain what I have been through. I know that even now, I am still trying my very best to finally get over the events that happened and say that I have really moved on.

last night's fever

i was supposed to sleep early last night for i have classes this morning. it was advertised that miss earth pageant runs at 9:30 and so i got a little interested with the international roll of the said beauty competition. my interest got even more boosted when i have learned that the host of the event is one of the personalities that i really am admiring. he's none other than mtv vj utt.

it's not actually about his career as a mtv host that impressed me much. his performance is really remarkable introducing videos for mtv. apart from that, he has been an excellent host of disney buzz. i can still remember the times that i still have time watching the channel. he is really good. it was the time that i started admiring his wit as well as his extraordinary potential to host. it's so natural and absolutely interest-catching.

now, he has just hosted miss earth in the philippines. had i known it beforehand, i could have tried watching the live pageant just to see the excellent host. he has very good ad libs during the show. his english is so clear apart from the fact that he is thai and not most of the people in thailand can speak good english. i wonder if he is a polyglot. being an international channel host, he might have gone acquainted with so many people, particularly celebrities, from different races. he might have learned lots of language. that makes a total difference. that makes a total impression on me.

i wish that one day, i'll be able to meet this icon. a nice conversation with him will be enough to satisfy my craving for this celebrity. that's how weird i am. after all, what is then wrong with admiring a celebrity? one day, he might get so kind to share tips in hosting that i can adopt in my amateur career as a local host. =) he might be too far from me but i really dream of living a life following the hectic schedule of a professional television host.

for you...

baby, i still love you
i got only one you...
you know who you are!

i wish somehow you know
that i really love you so...