status check: the reason behind the changes

it's actually a sad day for me. my friend reacted when i told her about it a while ago. she said "hey paul, it seems like you're sadness is becoming very regular. you're not being like that before. now, it seems like everyday is a sad day for you." i wished to defend myself and say that she's mistaken. but what for? she is just right..she's too accurate in her observation. maybe she has seen lots about my behavior lately. i do smile on jokes but it's no longer like before that i'll give a reply or another to prolong conversations. currently, i would just wish to be alone rather that be with the crowd. this is actually making schooling a hard thing now. given the chance, i'd wish to hire a tutor. but how could i do so with me taking up Nursing. It's pathetic to hire a private or personal clinical instructor to teach me with the lots.

the reason behind these gross changes is my inability to adjust. another i think is my inability to accept that i believed and my believe was too impartial and it did not realize.
so abstract as my statement would seem but it's the best words that i can safely use to let you know about the reasons behind it all. simple truth: i am not fine but i am trying to be so...